To change your life, you have to appreciate what is good in your life. Trying to change so that you can escape issues in your life won’t work. Life is about struggle and overcoming that struggle. When you overcome struggles in your life, that is when you experience the most joy. Recognize your joy, and continue to develop it.
In order to change our lives, our habits must change. To develop a habit in your life there are specific things you have to do for each change. You have to repeat a behavior for 30 days until you can actually make a sustained change in your life.
Write In A Journal
Make sure you write it down and log your progress as you go along you can do this with the change my heart solo program.
Write whether it’s in a blog or in a journal send an email write down what you’re thinking momentum will build. Take photos with your phone and create captions on each photo. Now not only do you have a journal but you also have a photo Journal. a picture is worth a thousand words they say.
Communicate with someone about your progress to keep you accountable. What’s to keep yourself from quitting when nobody knows what you’re doing. The more people you involve in your attempts to change, the more accountable people will keep you. This means you are more likely to succeed at changing.
Keep up on your communication. If people email you respond immediately, if people text you respond promptly, if people need something from you make sure you take care of it. Do not procrastinate. Do not develop habits of a procrastinator.
Share how you think and feel with other people. learn the art of conversation. learn the subtle intricacies of conversation. when you are able to share your thoughts and ideas respectfully with another person, and hear their response and their ideas to life Tama you can practice the ability of maintaining that relationship through your words and ideas. This can also help you communicate on a more effective level. When you practice being concise and distinct in your language people are more comfortable communicating with you.
Make sure people can get in touch with you. Work on your first impression and Lasting Impression. Maintain your website resume contact information.
Find someone to keep you accountable. A mentor, someone you can look up to. they can see things in your life that you can’t. You can also move forward with confidence that you’re doing what you should knowing that you’ve bounced it off of someone else. That you have someone else’s opinion that matches your own in your actions.
Give Yourself Some Credit
Celebrate when you do things right. Give yourself a treat. Go have fun. Do whatever you enjoy doing, as long as it isn’t violating what you’re trying to change.
Start stop continue. if you mess up think about what you need to start doing so that you won’t fail. Think about what you need to stop doing that led to your failure. And think about the things you’ll continue to do that helped you succeed before you failed.
Make a long term plan for your life. Attached a set amount of time for when you will accomplish certain things in your life. the person who fails to plan plans to fail. how can you improve your life if you are not creating a plan for your life. I guarantee if you’re not making a plan for your life, then your life is being dictated by the majority of every influencer that comes across your path.
Make short-term baby step plans for your life. If you want to get better at basketball, you don’t make a baby step plan to rebound better just by saying I’m going to rebound better. Here is an example.
- Keep your feet apart
- bend your knees
- Hands up
- put your body on someone
- Jump the line reach your fingers in the air
- Grab the ball with strength
- Land Softly on your toes
- Elbows out
- Pivot foot
- Pass, dribbble, or shoot
Can you see how intricate a seemingly easy task is actually quite complicated. Thinking about all the steps and practicing them every time you want to do your task will help you become the best you can be in that task.
Have Hope or Faith
Are you a glass-half-empty sort of person? Are you a glass half-full person? If you’re trying to change something in your life, which of the two perspectives would help you change? Would the pessimist have the best chance of succeeding? Or would the optimist have a better chance? The optimist would have a better chance. You could even call it faith.
Please don’t misunderstand me this is not a religious article. Think about your purpose in life. Think about the fundamental principles that you believe in. What higher power fits your purpose. If you think that the fundamental principles in your life are ethics. Then ethics could be your higher power. If you believe God, Allah, or Buddha are your higher power then use it.
This higher power becomes an advocate, another support to help you change. Use a glass half-full perspective, as well as a higher power to provide you with the faith that you can be better. Not better by yourself, but with your higher power helping you succeed.
Learn how to trust in your higher power. Faith is not just a word that’s used in religious circles. Faith is also a way that you can believe in yourself. why is it that one someone Hots themselves accidentally or breaks a bone the immediately go to the hospital, but when we cut ourselves in our mind and put ourselves down we don’t take care of that? Practice good mental maintenance, hygiene for the mind.
Pray or meditate. meditation allows us to think clearer, calm ourselves. it’s practicing a behavior of calmness which helps us think clearer. it’s developing the skill of thinking under pressure.
Find Your Purpose
What is your purpose? Figure it out. test it out over the next few days and write down different purposes for your life. dissect those purposes and figure out what purpose in your life matches Who You Are.
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Try to do things that you wouldn’t have done before. Find opportunities that are unlikely to work. Go through it and learn from it. Then go back and do it again.
Learn how you can do hard things to improve yourself. learn that life is about struggle, and learning how to overcome it.
Get out of your comfort zone. it’s just can’t be done willy-nilly. You have to take time Play Jennifer by where the boundaries of your comfort zone are and take small steps out of that comfort zone not too big. this way that boundary will grow larger and larger with practice.
Manage Your Money Better
Learn to purchase what you need not what you want. The next time you want to go out to fast food or buy that cool object on Amazon, give it time, let it simmer for a while before you make the decision to purchase. think about the resources you already have in your pantry. You will become more resourceful and save money at the same time.
Change Your Food Habits
Learn How to Cook
Practice the principle of fasting. Forcing your body to not eat shows that you are in control of your body not the other way around. if you don’t want to go without a meal, you can learn how to not eat everything on your plate. Leave a little on your plate, it will provide the same effect.
Try modifying your diet as an experiment. Keep a food journal and try to track what you’re eating. try eating more vegetables for a week. do not eat any sugar for a week. or maybe don’t eat meat for a week. try anything, and see how your body responds. Everyone is different, so find what works well for you.
Organize & Clean Your Home
Learn how to Clean
Learn how to organize your home.
Stop Limiting Yourself
Learn how to identify misleading stories that you tell yourself that influence your emotions. Learn how to base your reaction on facts not on emotion. Too many times we put ourselves in a box which limits what we can do.
When we learn to look at life by evaluating the facts that are in front of us we are less likely to mislead ourselves into thinking we’re in a negative situation when really we are not at all.
Make decisions based off of what is right and wrong not what is easy. Too many times we make decisions in our life because we feel like doing something, when we base our decisions off of that it is a toss-up whether or not it is good or bad.
To dwell on the past is called depression. To dwell on the future is called anxiety. do not dwell too long in the past and do not dwell too much in the future if you are criticizing your past actions or the bad that could happen in your life.
But if you do it’s to learn from the past and avoid issues in the future, not to create a pity party for yourself or to cause you to fear what is to come.
Forgive. Assume good intentions. they may have lost your trust until they can win it back through repeated trust building acts. but do not Harbor ill-will. and do not assume you know why they did what they did. assume reasons why they did what they did in an understanding compassionate manner. for example, if someone hits you you can be very hurt by it.
But if you tell yourself they probably had a really bad day, or maybe they didn’t grow up in a very friendly environment, or they just don’t know any better oh, this can help you forgive. it’s all about the story you tell yourself.
If a Down syndrome person punches you in the face would you Harbor ill will towards That person? If a baby slapped you, would you Harbor ill-will towards that baby? Of course you wouldn’t.
The story you would tell yourself is, they have Down syndrome, or they’re a baby, they don’t understand what they’re doing. and you would shrug it off. but if you tell yourself that person knew very well what they were doing and you invent some story about why they intentionally wanted to hurt you, of course you’re going to be upset.
So how is your life going to be any better harboring ill feelings about that situation. of course you wouldn’t trust that person until they earn that trust back. but don’t allow their actions to cause you to lose your agency and how you’re going to be able to live your life.
The only way you can get out of that is by forgiving and moving on. the opposite wood need to dwell on those feelings of animosity which does not free you from the bonds of uncontrolled feelings.
Comparing is for unhappy people. we can’t compare Our Lives to others. We do not fully understand the the details that led someone to where they were. if I was to compare and think someone else’s life was better, if only I could have their life, for example. I would be mistaken that my life could be any better by living someone else’s.
We all have struggles in our lives. and these struggles are unique to our experiences. every experience is for our benefit in this life It’s meant to help us grow and fully develop in all areas of our life. if we magically can trade places with somebody else we would be doing ourselves a great disservice.
We would not be able to effectively grow in all areas of Our Lives. So our experiences are meant to be a good thing in life.
Develop a sense of patience. learn to recognize the enjoyment of the journey not the arrival to the destination.
There’s nothing to fear but fear itself. Too often we make up stories the frightens us that make us feel as if things won’t work. take time to identify what your fears are. detail them out so you clearly understand them and Define them. try to recognize why you feel that way.
Stop making excuses. Take responsibility for what you are doing in your life. do not blame others. instead, recognize how you could have done something differently to cause a different outcome. you have more control over yourself then you do other people.
Understanding the principle that you can’t force other people to change, you can change yourself to create a different outcome is more likely to create a situation where the other person will change.
Do not make others problems your problem. To take away they’re learning experience by fixing it for them does them a disservice. allowing others to learn from their experiences allows them to grow much faster and retain that knowledge longer.
Spiritual & Physical
All of us have a spiritual side and a carnal side. I like to think of our mind as our soul and our carnal side as our body. our spiritual side wants what’s best for us in the long term but our carnal side wants what’s best for us in the now. And if we base all our decisions off of temporary or now satisfaction, we will be missing out on huge benefits in the long-term.
Knowing how to recognize what is a short-term and a long-term benefit will allow us to get the most benefit out of our life.
If the carnal side wants something and you don’t want to do that, it’s very hard for the spiritual side to convince the carnal side to do with the spiritual side once.
A trick you could use for this is you can have a conversation with yourself oh, and tell the carnal side what you want and get negotiate with a carnal side and tell it If you do this for me, we will go and get a little ice cream if we don’t do this or if we do this and I will treat you to this.
Make and Keep Good Friends
Make good friends. It’s not enough to have friends, but to have good friends who have a good influence on you helps raise you up to do better. It also keeps you accountable. it also helps you avoid the carnal side telling you what to do when you have good friends who are holding you accountable to making good decisions in your life.
Be honest with a friend. too many times we don’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings. but isn’t a good friend someone that will honestly tell you how they feel? Do you want your friends to lie to you just so you feel good. facts don’t care about your feelings. but if you live your life caring only about feelings, when your life is caught up in a fantasy.
Be very open and honest about your life. secrets lead to unhappiness. if you can become so open about your life and not feel like you have any secrets with anyone it can be very freeing especially if you come to terms with your weaknesses and your faults and are still proud of Who You Are. This is a type of Enlightenment in your life that can free yourself to a plethora of possibilities.
Reading books develops your brain activity, it helps you grow, it helps you develop yourself. making sure that you are reading every morning before you start the day allows you to bring your brain back up to speed so that you can critically think. And every day you read, and every day you critically think about things you hone in that skill and make better decisions in your life.
Avoid Passive Entertainment
This doesn’t mean you stop watching TV or never go to the movies. but you do limit the amount that you participate in those activities. turn off social media do something productive. passively enjoying something develops The Habit of only doing what you feel like doing which, again, is not necessarily right or wrong. You are at the mercy of your feelings not the facts.
Work Without Distraction
Put your phone on silent. focus on one thing at a time. Write down what you will do the next day before you go to bed. Write down the top three things you need to get done. And get it done. the most successful people in the world share this skill. think about the top three things you need to do and do them. Then you can spend the rest of your days doing things you want to do.
It’s great to dream but take a realistic look at what you’re doing. If it sounds too good to be true then most likely it is not true. do you have a skill to look at your life without bias? Do you have the ability to step outside your shoes and see how you’re doing? you have to be able to look at the facts to make the decisions in your life or else you are not going to be happy.
If you want to know how to make money talk to someone who’s made money, if you want to know how to lay bricks talk to a Mason. if you want to build a house talk to someone who builds houses. Do not make your decisions based off of Dreams, based off of promises from someone who tells you his cousin can do amazing things.
Only care about the opinion of people who are doing what you are doing. nobody gets to critique you if they are not in your similar situation.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”Theodore Roosevelt, “The Man in the Arena”
Dare greatly! And don’t let other people sway you unless they are in your situation as well.
Challenge Your Mind
Challenge your brain and try to solve problems.
Focus On the Good Dreams
Never give up on your dreams, unless you’re just no good at that dream. then, it’s probably time for you to get a new dream. One that you’re good at, one that you can excel at, one that’ll bring you the most happiness. Not for just now but for your benefit in the long term.
Follow your passion if it’s a hobby, do what you’re good at and enjoy for a career.
Learn to be Vulnerable
Learn how to be vulnerable and accept yourself for who you are, while while simultaneously pushing yourself to improve. the perfectionist wants Others to think that they are perfect. it’s a thought process that does not dwell in the real world.
It is an abstract idea that we can be perceived as perfect. it’s a very objective principle to live your life by. it is not a solid foundation for you to build your life. People like someone who can open up and be vulnerable with them. It gives them permission to be vulnerable to.
You are not a cumulation of your mistakes. those mistakes don’t Define Who You Are it’s what you learn from those mistakes that help you become a better person. this empowers you to become better.
be willing to learn something from others and from new experiences. too often we may think we need to know everything, that we need to know all the answers. But if we live our life this way we closed herself off to learning more things. To be vulnerable about what we dont know allows us to learn at optimal levels.
Your self-esteem should never rely on others approval. it creates a weak Foundation for your self-esteem. you don’t need others approval to feel confident about yourself. becoming at ease with the person you are knowing the person you can become allows you to Freedom to grow and not need others approval.
Learn from your mistakes. Failure becomes wisdom.
Be Purposeful in all That You Do
You are what you think. what you think about is what you do. if you want to be a racecar driver you think about what it would be like to race. Did learn about cars, you’d learn about how to fix them, you learned about how to drive them.
If you really want to do something like changing your life you’ll think about ways to change your life for the better not just once a while consistently.
Try to focus on the most important things in your life and eliminate the unnecessary.
Develop a schedule in your life in four areas. mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually. when you develop in these four areas you develop the most well-rounded person you can be.
Learn how to focus your mind. too many times we can get stuck on one thing and not be able to disconnect and do another. in contrast we can jump from subject to subject without completing what we’re trying to do.
Being able to change focus when the time is right, and keep focused when the time is at hand allows us to get the most important things done when they need to get done.
Create a list of priorities in your life. Labeled them according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. put everything you want or need in these categories. Focus on the most basic and work up.
Live your life on a schedule. wake up at the same time and make your bed, eat at the same time and sleep at the same time. do not deprive yourself asleep. tell yourself whatever you have to do to give yourself the sleep you need. how can you change if you’re not able to control your sleeping habits?
If you take care of your body in mind and give it nourishment and rest, your body is less likely to interfere with your mind. this allows you to focus on changing at an optimal level.
Be grateful for what you have. The more grateful that you are about what you have the less you will dwell on what you don’t have. people who know how to show gratitude are happier in life. Studies show that they’re more successful in life.
Be Courageously Kind
Do a good turn daily and keep developing the good you do. Maybe it’s a small as looking people in the eye saying hello, then you work up to looking people in the eye and asking them how they’re doing today, then you work up to trying to formulate better responses after they tell you how they’re doing.
Make it a game to improve yourself everyday and develop and build on the previous kindness. donate some of your belongings to charity. giving away your personal items is a great way to be courageously kind.
Take the stairs. Make sure to get up off your seat and walk around even if it’s just one quick lap. Park the greatest distance from work, as long as it’s safe to do so.
Get a fitbit and track your steps. I track my steps to get over 10,000 steps. Its what the american heart association suggests. The fitbit works with your phone and can even track your sleeping habits.
Train to run a 5k. Hydrate and take your vitamins. Studies show that exercise can help you change through increasing your endorphins to be more optimistic.
Go for a walk outside. Enjoy sunset, or go for a walk. Let your body soak up the Rays of the Sun. studies show that more people are depressed during winter time when it’s snowing cloudy rainy. go outside and purposefully think about nature, and think about your gratitude.
Say hello to strangers. When you talk to people ask them questions about their life. and really listen to the responses. ask them about family work hobbies and school if it applies.
When they respond, repeat what you understand back to them. ask them who what when where why and how in relation to their response. you can have a much deeper and richer conversation with a person if you ask this questions.
Learn a language. There are free apps that can help you learn about any language. I like using duolingo. It helped me learn spanish faster than anything else.